


Fragile

by laijunchen



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Reflection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:25:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1715477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laijunchen/pseuds/laijunchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're both fragile children, but they hold each other up in the darkest of times. Together they're strong enough to build walls and never truly fall apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragile

**Fragile**

 

 

_She shines in a world full of ugliness_

 

From the moment he met Lenalee Lee he had thought she was exceptional. Her personality made her practically _shine_ , especially amidst the dark, barren halls of the Order. She seemed to brighten everything. Even as finders died en masse, exorcists began to lose hope and sanity, and Innocence was lost at an increasingly rapid rate.

 

_She matters when everything is meaningless_

 

            It was only through Lenalee that Allen found something that mattered beyond Akuma, beyond the dead. She would _always_ matter to him when everything else was meaningless. [For Mana, and Narein, and his own sins he would save the Akuma. But only for _her_ would he save the world.]

 

_Fragile, she doesn_ _’_ _t see her beauty,_

_She tries to get away_

 

            When her innocence lost it’s form he realized how fragile she truly was. Realized how much he wanted to protect her and how much she _needed_ him, needed all of them- her Exorcist family. And in this fragility he learned how beautiful she was, in a way she’d never understand.

            Finally, when she stopped trying to get away from everything (unconscious though her actions may have been), she returned stronger than before. Just as he had when his Innocence lost it’s form. All she had needed was the kind of clarity of resolve that he had found while in the Asian branch. And the strength of her will made her all the more beautiful. Fragile, seemingly unbreakable, and astoundingly beautiful.

 

_Sometimes it_ _’_ _s just that nothing seems worth saving,_

_I can_ _’_ _t watch her slip away_

 

            At times, as the war continued, the number of tragedies increased, and humanity, the Noah, and the Order itself visited darker and darker crimes on each other, it seemed to Allen that nothing was worth saving. And he and Lenalee watched as the world fell apart faster than they could pick up the pieces. Having seen it so many times before Lavi would tell them that that was just how war, how the world was. The Chinese girl would say nothing and retire to her room. The English boy would always follow her and find her sobbing in her pillows or staring despondently out her window and he’d hold her, sometimes all night. The next day she acted as though nothing had ever been wrong; determined to complete every mission with success, hum while making coffee for the sleep deprived science department, greet everyone returning to headquarters with a smile. And with every horrific death or lost Innocence fragment she would retreat to her room, again. Allen always followed her. She would always be alright the next day. [And the cycle repeated. He knew every time he watched her cry uncontrollably or became unresponsive and then rebuilt her, that next time he would try harder so that he didn’t have to, once again, watch her slip away. He hated to have to watch her fall apart. He would do anything to keep from letting her fall apart.]

 

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart, I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart,_

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart, I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart_

_She reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by,_

_Hoping someone will see_

 

            Komui, as her brother, her only family, was a big part of her world; however, Allen Walker was quickly taking over much of it. He wasn’t the ‘tall, dark, and handsome’(read: Kanda) man she thought she would fall in love with. He was so much _better_. Instead of handsome he was beautiful, all snowy hair and pale skin. He was younger than her (but only by a year), but mature like Lavi and her brother would never be. He was polite and understanding in ways that Kanda refused to be. He saw how easily she could crumble, but never kept her from the battle field (not that he didn’t still try to shield her from everything while _on_ said battle field), understanding her _need_ to be there. He had the same need as she.

He also didn’t treat her as a comrade or an Exorcist, but as a _loved one_. He treated her as someone important beyond what use she could be to the Order and the war. Komui, Lavi, Kanda, Miranda, and so many others _cared_ for her, but never in the way that Allen did. Mind you, Allen’s feelings were always more intense than anyone else’s. But with her they seemed to have been placed under a microscope and set on the highest magnification. [He was discreet about his feeling and she almost missed them at first, but once she caught on she could hardly believe she’d not seen their intensity.] He knew everything about her, or, at least, everything important; when she needed to be alone, when she needed reassurance, humor, or comfort. She was overjoyed when she found that someone could finally, really _see_ her.

 

_If I could fix myself I would die,_

_But it_ _’_ _s too late for me_

 

            Amazing Allen Walker could see her, and _loved_ her. Now all she had to do was fix herself so that she would be _worthy_ of the white haired boy’s love. So that he was wasn’t loving an empty shell of Lenalee Lee. Yes, she knew she was a little broken (weren’t all of the Exorcists?) and emotionally fragile, especially compared to the determined, unwavering, ever so strong Allen Walker, the ‘Destroyer of Time,’she had fallen in love with. And maybe it was a bit too late to fix everything, but she would die and retry a hundred times for Allen, because as strong as he was he was fragile too. And she would never let him fall apart like she had.

 

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart, I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart,_

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart, I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart_

_We_ _’_ _ll find a perfect place to go where we can run and hide_

 

She could never let him fall apart because he always mended her when she fell apart. Every time she needed to run and hide form everything his arms were open, waiting for her. And with nothing but a borrowed shoulder, soft words, or even silence he’d repair her, a little piece at a time, until she no longer felt that need to hide. She wasn’t sure she was _strong_ enough, had the talent to put Allen back together in the same way. She’d just have to keep him from falling apart at all.

 

_I_ _’_ _ll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side_

 

            Allen wanted nothing more than to stop Lenalee’s cycle of ‘break and repair.’He wanted to build a wall and keep them, every woe in the world, on the other side. He wanted to be on the inside of that wall to comfort and love her as she _deserved_. He knew, though, that she could never be kept on the sidelines, just as he couldn’t. Knowing that about her, he only wanted to love her more and build the walls higher. Even if it only kept her from falling apart just a bit longer, if it kept her from breaking one minute more.

 

_It_ _’_ _s something I have to do_

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart_

_I was like you_

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart_

 

            They were so alike. Together they would fight to save the world. Allen would fight to save her world, too. And Lenalee would always be at his side because she could not let him fall apart as he tried to save everything for everyone. Save everything for her, who he put before all else.

 

_Before everything else_

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart_

_I was like you_

_I won_ _’_ _t let you fall apart_

He’d try to keep her from falling apart next time. She’d never let him fall apart a first time.


End file.
